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Esperanza and Summer Course

3 Aug

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I admit it has been a while since I wrote anything. Hell, I don’t even remember when was the last time and what did I write about. I would have to check in order to remember. All I can recall is that I was complaining to my friend when i just had started summer course about how I wasn’t writing as I would like to. Anyway I wasn’t away and that means I am not back. I was just in a hold mood until I was done from summer course.
Speaking of summer course I feel the need to elaborate on this subject a bit. You see this is my first time to ever take a summer course and as it is I never expected myself to be this lazy I mean, aside from not writing, I really had gotten lazy. It is like the almost five days between the ending of the second semester and the starting of summer course was not the tad bit enough to regenerate my brain cells. I just attend the three subjects I’ve taken, try as much as I can to concentrate, think I understand something, and go home not doing anything as if the classes I attended didn’t happen. And then I just ended up the course with grades I am not that satisfied with. Thinking of it now I came up with a few conclusions why did I become that lazy person in this course:
1. It’s summer hence it is very very very very very hot, that it stopped my brain cells from working the way it should work properly. I’m sweating bad more like a guy (and in a not cool gym way but the disgusting you don’t want to speak of way. TMI I know!!) The heat makes me think all the day of going home and classes from 9:00 am to 2:00 pm is a long run from going home. (Did I say VERY hot?)
2. Due to the fact that becoming an semi- A student did not happen until I became deeply involved with literature it made sense that I was not interested in the mandatory but awful subjects that did not include any sort of literature. I preferred to leave the literature subjects for the long courses so I could enjoy my classes to the max. ( A literature nerd you say?)
3. I know that I have mentioned before ( here) that I hate vacations and I still do. But it turned out (and I mentioned that as well) that five days is not a vacation or a breather. I needed two weeks at least to reboot myself.
4. Subjects I took were lame. Extremely lame. One was Kuwait history (that I repeated) and the other one even though it is in the English field but it’s the linguistics side and I just … hate linguistics. Why should a literature student take five courses in that field? .. meh.
Even though I when I was done from summer course I said that I wouldn’t be taking it again because the lack of effort I gave I figured out that I will be taking it again and here is why:
1. When calculated how many subjects I had left it turned out with a summer course and a year and a course (that is 3 courses and a summer course) I would be graduating not this year but next year the first half. I can’t believe I’m this close I thought I still had two years. But because I’m planning to take twelve subjects this year ( that is six subjects per course), three in the summer course, and seven in the remaining course this is manageable. I wasn’t even aware of that!!! Yes I know this a lot of stress but I know I could do it (inshAllah) plus I need to graduate first half of the year so I could complete my masters the next year. Turns out for masters if you graduate the first half the following September you could complete but if you graduate the second half you have to wait for the next year to join (weird I know). So yeah if I want my plan to go well I have to take a summer course.
2. See what I said about vacations? Well yeah a three months vacation is a lot for me that is when I hate vacation. At least I made something useful with my life (even though it is not that useful) instead of sitting at home.
For now I am enjoying my Ramadan and what is remaining from my vacation until next course. I will beginning with my new minor (Comparative Literature) which by the way I’m from the very first students who is minoring in this field in Kuwait University (YAAAY!! I’m excited). It is going to be a course loaded with literature subjects (four literature, one linguistics :( , and one philosophy). Let us see how things go on the way inshAllah all to the best.
I feel like shouting another YAAY for finally writing something YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!

-Esperanza Writes

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Esperanza (The Story) Chapter 8 “Fever” part 1

6 May

Without further explanations if it is your first time and you haven’t read the previous chapters here is the link otherwise enjoy!

The robe that’s in the story

Because fever means a lot -Esperanzish Proverb

The next day I woke up realizing that they will transfer me into a governmental hospital. Despite that I told them to do whatever they wanted to do and decide, I panicked. What if they put me in a bed with other other beds and patients? What if everyone will be watching me, passing by me in this sick bed being looked at publicly? I did not want that! I did not want to be exposed to the public for nearly a week! I do not want to deal with other people that I do not know! I do not want to deal with public bathrooms that are not cleaned well! I knew that sounded shallow and pathetic because others who were brought up into a poor situation cannot have the choice to pick, but on the other hand I had the privilege and I could avoid it.  I do apologize for those who will be offended by my words but if you were given the choice what will you take?

I told my mother that I do not want to go maybe it will be better if I stayed here. However, she said everything will be fine and I would be transferred. I was put in a stretcher and into the ambulance I went with three drains attached to my stomach. My very first ambulance ride. I was scared and I feared the ride from falling every minute. It was bumpy and uncomfortable. I could feel the eyes on me all the time. And I was too tired and sleepy, from the after surgery fever and pain.

We arrived, my mom and I, at the hospital and thanks to Allah then the nepotism my Doctor went through we got a private room. Not that clean but still it is private  and that equals all.

I was admitted into the room and transferred from the stretcher to the bed. Being half asleep I did not realize that an X-ray machine was brought into the room. I did not realize that a doctor was in while I was not wearing my hijab well. I did not realize that the firm hands that pulled me up for metallic X-ray piece to be put under my back was my no other than my brother’s. Until the X-ray was over and I was back to sleep.

Days passed as I tried hard to recover. Walking myself back and forth in this little room, making sure that the pain does not make a habit of staying. Fever slowly starts to go away and I start nagging to get the drains pulled out of my organs. And it happened, after a week I got to go home, start eating again and be a happy girl because I got over this with Allah’s help.

However this did not last long. Fever came back again.

[to be continued]

-Esperanza Writes

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